dklf.... reConnect

Have you ever seen a retake during the filming of a movie, where the actor has to repeat the same dialogues, confront the same villain, doing what he's expected to do, and ended up with the same consequences no matter how? Many times I guess, although not physically present. This is exactly what I am going through right now, a retake in the film called 'My So-called Life'. Life can be a little joker sometimes; when you think that you are ready to put the past behind you, out it comes like a film director, forcing you to go through exactly the same experience that you so badly wanted to put away. Exactly one year ago, so long ago. And it is scary how similar the scenarios are as then. I'm wondering whether my entire life is just a play in a movie, like the Truman show. And yet, who is there to blame other than the actor himself, for if he did not agree to take upon this role, then he wouldn't have to go through these painful retakes. But that exactly is what he has to do, to continue trying and trying, taking roles upon roles, until he succeeded in making a breakthrough in his life.
Today, I was caught in a heavy rain again. I would like to think of it as a Heaven-sent shower to prepare me for the dawning new year. After all, how many people get the chance to be drenched inside out, out of the blue? That, in itself, is a blessing.
Goodbye to the old year, welcome to the year of renewed dreams and the future.