dklf.... reConnect

"When I die a silver thread of smooth pearls will break, and the pearls will roll across the country and run home to their oyster mothers at the bottom of the sea. Who will dive for my pearls when I have gone? Who will know that they were mine? Who can guess that once the whole world was hanging round my neck?"
-Jostein Gaarder-

I can roam the greenwoods,
but all I'll find is the falling leaves
drifting down upon the wings of the October wind
covering the earth in a golden sigh.

I can stand at the edge of the Aegean Sea,
but all I'll see is the rolling waves
crashing upon the stones at my feet
grinding them into distant memories.

I can brace the cold of the North Pole,
but all I'll get is a faint light
no warmth from the Aurora dancing before me
a glowing hope slowly fading away.

I can fly myself to the Polaris,
but all I'll see is the distance between us
measured in time and in eternity
a distant voice from a distant star.

I can shout your name at the centre of the world,
but all I'll hear is my own echo
coming back to me like a mockery
the laughter of a lonely planet.

I can do all these, and much more,
but all in my dreams
and what difference does it make anyway
when dreams and reality have no difference anymore.

I received this very interesting article from a friend:

Stars are a wonderful gift to the night sky. Ever since the beginning of time, they have fascinated human beings with their beauty and mystery, these little unreachable sparkling lights that decorates the Universe at night. Now, we know that stars are just gigantic balls of burning hot gases consisting mainly of hydrogen and helium, with other heavier matters such as silicon, iron, sulphur, magnesium and carbon. Interestingly, our human body consists of these elements too. Inside our every cell are traces of magnesium and carbon and iron and other matters that combine to form molecules that make up the cells. If the Theory of Evolution is true, then somehow, we too are stardusts. BUT we human beings are different from the stars, because we are alive! Just like all other animals in the animal kingdom. Yet we are one step above all other animals because we have souls. How come two different things consisting of the very same elements can be so different from each other? One, hot burning balls of gases, while the other, emotional, spiritual and alive creatures. Surely there must be a greater Power that gives human beings life. That's why we are each given a soul, so that we can always look beyond the stars and back to our Creator.

Yesterday, I was having a small talk with a mechanic while having my vehicle fixed. Suddenly, he began to ask about my lifestyle as a student, what I normally do after class, etc..etc...Frank enough, I told him that I usually stays at home after class hours, surf the Net, do a bit of readings, and that's it. He looked at me, and he said, "You know what, the house is just a box with four walls. Do not always hide inside it. Get a life."

Boy, I was stunned with what he said. And I admit that what he said was true. This kind of life is not everyone's cup of tea,neither is it my cup of tea. Since my secondary school years I have had my gangs of friends that we always hang out together, did stuffs together,have fun together. Of course, as time grows my gang of friends changed too. When I entered University I have a a bunch of very good friends. We managed to stick it out all these years. During the 'peak' of our friendship, there was once when we would went out almost every other night, be it for dinner, movies, shopping, mamak sessions, and even revising together. Even though I played hard during this period,but my exam results for these two semesters were my best ever. But lately, there have been a lot of changes and unhappy events even more interesting than a TVB soap drama that eventually torn off the tight bond between us. The whole fellowship has failed, and everyone is feeling miserable. Now, my greatest enjoyment after my class hours is having small (and occasionally 'big') talks with my housemates over a mamak session every night. They are a wonderful bunch of people, and thanks to them I still can have some enjoyment in my life. But of course, they have their own lives and circles of friends, and I cannot expect them to always entertain this Mr. Lonely. This is scary, the feeling of and knowing that you belong to neither this circle of friends nor that group of people. I have never been this 'friendless' before, hopefully all these will be just like a bad dream and quickly pass away.

The haze situation here in Selangor has been so bad that a state of emergency has been declared in Kuala Selangor and Port Klang. Even here around the Putrajaya-Bangi-Kajang area, the air has an acrid smell and the visibility is only about 2-3 km. My university has declared that all classes from 2 pm today till tomorrow has been cancelled. Still, I have had a sore throat and a little coughs due to the bad air. And the newspapers had said that the haze will not go away until October >_<. If you want to see how bad the haze here is, here's a link for you. I'm off to take my oxygen dose now.

1. My family members call me by a pet name.

2.My friends who knew this name has teased me because of its resemblance to a certain animal.

3. Vanilla is the most heavenly taste on earth!

4. Kenny Rogers Roasters' vanilla muffin is my favourite muffin.

5. When I was a small kid, I dreamt to be a doctor....

6..... then an astronaut....

7..... and architect.....

8..... now ended up as a civil engineering undergraduate.

9. I would like to be in a band someday, just to try out for fun.

10. My mother is a very good singer, she passed some of her talents to me =p

11. My first crush was a girl who studied in the same kindergarten as me....

12. She's one year older than me....

13. Back then we call her Kiki...hahahahah!!

14. My first year in kindergarten (Morning Star) was with the kids that's one year older than me (my sis's class) because I cried everytime the teachers tried to put me in the class of those of my age.

15. I had a crush on a girl since I was 11 years old until I graduated from high school (17 years old).

16. She never know this.... I guess.

17. I LURRVEEEEE Monica Bellucci!!

18. I LURRVEEEEE Catherine Zeta-Jones!!

19. I LURRVEEEEE Kate Winslet!!

20. I love all Libran girls, hahahaha!!

21. I got scared by a badly dressed Santa Claus when I was a small kid....

22. That's why I still get goosebumps when I see Santa Clauses nowadays.

23. However, I was once the Santa Claus for my church's Christmas carolling night.

24. I hate clowns.

25. I'm freaking scared of spiders..... >_<

26. I like to play with my digicam.

27. My favourite author is Jostein Gaarder.

28. I think that the Universe is a great work of miracle.

29. I think that the Universe at night is the most spectacular view anyone can enjoy.

30. Last time, I do get cuts on my ears when I pointed at the moon.

31. I do write poems, but they're not for public reading =p

32. I'm more a romantic than an idealist....

33..... that's why I get into mood swings easily :((

34. I prefer to hang out with a few good frenz and have a nice time than large gatherings.

35. I like the idea of travelling.

36. I would like to visit the greenwoods in Ireland....

37.... followed by the Holy City of Jerusalem....

38.... and visit the "Real" Santa Claus in Finland.

39. I like to go jungle trekking and camping.

40. I love reading, sometimes.

41. I love my family members.... they are the best!

42. Toddlers are fun to play with, small kids are worse than cholestrols!

43. I believe that all our actions will affect the lives of the people around us.

44. I think that waiting for death is scarier than death itself.

45. To be totally paralyzed is my worst fear.

46. I can be very mean and irresponsible.

47. I like to meet new frenz, but I'm shy around new girls.

48. I took a picture befor with Tun Mahathir.

49. I hate crowded places.

50. I never had a real relationship with a girl.

51. I had a girl friend who is really close with me, she's my best buddy.

52. My best friend went to be a theologist.

53. I still think that above all else, God is still my best best friend....

54.... but it's better to have a real friend that I can chat face to face.

55. I can be very fickle-minded.

56. I don't like to voice-up my opinion.

57. I think that listening is learning.

58. I am big in size....

59.... and someone told me that all Foochow's are big in size (??!)

60. I can read Chinese characters.

61. I am English and BM educated.

62. I am someone that you will easily forget....

63.... That's why I like the song 路人甲(Pedestrian) by Power Station.

64. I get free bus rides to school for my whole life....

65.... because my parents operate our own school buses.

66. I hate people who are ignorant.

67. I don't smoke.

68. I know how to drink....

69.... but I don't like the taste of alcohol.

70. I love day-dreaming.

71. I listen to all kinds of songs....

72.... I liked Teresa Teng's songs actually, my mother influenced me.

73. When I was a small kid, I would buy those oldies cassettes from 'pasar malam' or took them from my father's bus's audio player, and I will listen to and sing all the songs by heart.

74. I like to try out experiments when I was a small kid.

75. I made a periscope before....

76.... but never used them to spy because it was too big to go unnoticed.

77. I like people to give sincerely.

78. I made gifts for my close frenz.

79. I enjoy thoughtful conversations over mamak sessions.

80. I enjoy talking to people with the same interests and mind.

81. I don't like abrupt changes in my life.

82. I hate to be left out in any activities.

83. I have changed a lot.

84. I used to be on very bad terms with my mother, but now I loves her with all my heart and soul.

85. I have been using the same email for 8 years.

86. I have very very poor memory.

87. During exam time, my day became night and night became day for me.

88. During this time, I like to listen to my favourite songs as I lie down on my bed and see the sky turns blue, and I slowly fall asleep as the sun rises.

89. I like dogs.

90. Cartoon character? Tarepanda.

91. Favourite cartoon: Crayon Shin Chan... Wicked boy!

92. Favourite movie: Wanee and Junah (It's a Korean movie)

93. I've won a lot of small competitions before....

94.... but I've never won a big scale one.

95. I have the most wonderful father in the world.....

96.... and the prettiest and kindest sister....

97.... and the best brother....

98.... not that I never fight with my brother.

99. I count on my family's loves.

100. I count on my frenz's love.

Every night

when it comes to this hour

suddenly, loneliness starts to grow

Outside, the world is sparkling with lights

but none can brighten up the Heart

It doesn't like to be lonely

but loneliness surrounds

like a crouching shadow

cast from the happiness of others

I look out into the world outside

the world passes by every minute, every second

I look at the faces that pass by

strangers in the night, but all my friends

Every night,

when it comes to this hour

the Heart would never cease to hope

that somewhere out there

there is a tiny light

shining just for It

The past one week wasn't tat kind to me. I got myself into some very stupid and serious mess. Worse, I seem to be caught in some bad luck circle, much like the Malay proverb "Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga". Yet, as my housemate always said, I must learn to be calm all the time, and have faith in God tat eventually all problems will be settled.